I was in conversation with a dear friend. A confident, ball-busting, power house woman who inspires me with her beauty + her grit. Here we were talking about the same struggle.
We’ve known each other through thick + thin, many layers + transformations. 20 years ago, as a corporate team, we were feared, revered, kicking-ass, taking names, + getting it done with high compliments from customers. We were brave, oh-so-confident. Alas, corporate ethics didn’t sit well with our rebellious nature.
Now we we’re starting our own businesses. And we’re terrified. Of ourselves.
If we were working for each other the job would be done by morning. Working for myself, I get distracted by….the kitty. Or the other kitty. Or my need to unpack a box. Or say “yes” when I should say “no”. Or “not now”.
I’ve become really good at saying “no” to myself.
I can see it all. Playing small. My perfectionism. My people pleasing. I can even see how I struggle at the edge of my comfort zone. Yet, I can’t get my shit together. The amoeba.
So, how exactly, am I supposed to corral this morphing, shape shifting, barely defined thing? How do you put yourself first, be brave, + put out the work you know will help so many people?
Do the work.
Say “yes” to me.
Get a Coach.
I appreciate the reframe. My coach is fantastic at helping me discover where I’m already being brave. And strong. I’ve got my lariat.
Creating a system, a map, a schedule, an accountability check-in. Sticking to it. Really. (Sorry kitties). I’ve got my roping saddle.
Breathe. Write. Make the call. Don’t sign up for that e-course. Put the knowledge, the heart, the desire to raise vibrations to work. Trust the process. Keep moving forward. Because this stuck place is sooo uncomfortable. Do. The. Work. I’ve got my horse.
Now, where’s that fucking amoeba?
Corralling the amoeba is tricky. It’s slow moving. Gelatinous. No real definition. But, tangible.
Like my fear of my strength. The pervasive fear I’m not enough. For what? I’m so good at what I do. My heart is in it. My spirit is in it. My mind is the amoeba.
With my tools, some dedication, + support I can tune in to myself. Here little amoeba….
Saying yes, playing bigger, being a powerful force, a brilliant change agent. I’ve been that person. I want to be that person again. I’ve been that person all along.
We all struggle with corralling the amoeba at some stage, some layer of our lives. Recognizing the space for what it is, resistance to ourselves, is the first gate to open. Then watch out for the stampede of powerful forces.
Willingness to step into your true self, your higher good, opens up manifestation + synchronicity.
Possibility. Is. Everywhere.
Work + desire + ass kicking. It feels good. It’s doable. It’s fabulous.
The amoeba of fog, frustration, not-getting-my-shit-together, has been contained. Use the tools to do the work you were meant to do. Not wage war upon yourself.