It’s All About Perspective

“I’ve been crying every day for a month. I’m ready to lose my shit.”

That’s how we started two weeks ago. I was uber fragile, over done, and I cry when I’m mad. And I was mad at ME. How had I let myself get soooo far down this freakin’ rabbit hole? Again?!?!

And it’s all true. From one perspective. I am fierce, determined, and love with my whole self. And I have a crazy attachment to “proving myself through work”. Add in how I love to teach, which can look like me trying to save the world.
Recipe for burn-out, crashed adrenals, and a sugar craving that make holiday desserts vaporize.

My complete dedication of time and energy to the life I committed to for 2015; the job and living situation were coming to a close. But I was feeling trapped. A failure. And so stinking mad at myself. I Busy Progresshad chosen to do what I did because it felt right, but I had left myself stranded at the side of the road for far too long. My athletic pursuits? Pure memories. My business? Pure talk and thinking. Myself? Not present. Busyness is not progress.

When I get mad enough I start to shift things. This last week I shifted a lot. I thought it was just because one thing had come through and that provided the new sense of calm. And work slowed some, which gave me time to follow through on a couple things. Look! I was checking off my to do list.

The power of coaching is everything sometimes. It’s all about perspective. My coach spent an hour with me yesterday reframing, connecting, and intuitively showing me the mirror. It’s funny how we get so mired down in our own crap we totally lose perspective! Ta-da!

When asked about presence, I remembered back to several instances of calm, even while juggling so many different things (I am the Queen of Overscheduling). Presence is the calm in the middle of all chaos.

Synchronicity was pointed out between my previous session and the actions I’d taken the last few days. Now. I discovered a fantastic resource for my next
workshop simply because I actually read an email and clicked a link. I must delete 20 similar emails a day. Perspective. Things happen when I’m ready.

And then…Vulnerability. How, as a caretaker, I choose relationships and circumstances which don’t require me to be vulnerable. I’m safe. Except I’m so sick of playing safe. Terrified as hell because I want it SO badly. And what if I fail?

But, what’s to fail? Being vulnerable. Feeling beneath the surface. Desire + try. It’s uncomfortable, which can induce shrinking. I want to inspire greatness. To feel like I am living up to the compliments from my friends and clients. I need perspective.

The big shift, ah ha, Light Bulb Moment? It came in the form of a question: Did the emotional period last month need to happen to make room for manifesting now?

Say whaaat?!? Duh. Of course. I. Know. That.Assumptions

But, look at the mess I’d made in my head. Perspective. I was laying the foundation for change and growth. I’m ready. I just needed to make space in my heart, head, psyche.

The cool piece about a fabulous coaching session, the mirror of perspective? It breathes space into my thoughts. It gives clarity to the timing, the patterns, and I see how I am empowering myself, I am choosing me, how I am coming home.

Questions to help you check your perspective:

How did presence show up for me this week?

How am I? Notice where you’re choosing yourself, activities, thoughts, patterns of empowering yourself.

Who do I get to be in this relationship/job/role?

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Daily Mini-blog for inspiration, motivation, and thought provoking questions.



It’s All About Perspective — 6 Comments

  1. Thank you for this, Stephanie! There certainly is a natural ebb and flow to all things, but in our go-go-go culture, we often fall into the trap of thinking that we “need to get our sh*t together” when we’re in a rebuilding phase. When we tap into the cyclical nature of life and recognize those patterns in our lives, we can flow with life instead of fighting against it. “Busyness is not progress” – I couldn’t agree more!

  2. Hi Stephanie! Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself. As a fellow entrepreneur, I can completely relate to the terrifying weight of self-doubt – and I admire you for sharing your feelings so openly.

    Self-doubt is omnipresent, and you are right, it is because we feel vulnerable as we put more and more of ourselves out there. But to answer your prompts, I am here because I chose to be here. I love what I do, I ignore the little whiny voice in my head (she’s a loser haha) and push on, because failure happens when you quit. And as Jack Canfield said, “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” Keeping on pushing on. Sam x

  3. Your recent experience sounds so familiar! 🙂 When things are feeling really rough I try to make this my mantra1) this is exactly where I’m supposed to be right now and 2) it WILL change… I also try to “keep track” of how I’m feeling (usually in my notes app on my phone), a bit of journaling when I’m feeling the emotions big time… and then (and this is key) I return to those notes days or a week later… without a doubt even if things still feel rough a week later they still feel DIFFERENT. It reminds me that my feelings are always evolving! 🙂

  4. The start of changes is when you get sick of all your own bullshit. I read that in a book called the The Power of Now. Changes happen when you continuously do the same things repeately and can’t stand where you end up or the emotions that are coming up in the present moments. I believe your article relates a lot to this. Thank you for sharing this raw and vulnerable post for us to read and relate to. I believe we have all had moments like this.

  5. I can relate to getting all stuck in my head. There was something about December that just felt stuck to me, period. I was mad about work and I was mad that I was having to do everyone’s work, and it came out in ways I’m not necessarily proud of. Perspective is important, and I’ve chatted with a couple of coaches, and it has helped so much 🙂

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