“Love You Long Time” + My Heart Cracks

Growth. Change. They say it’s like peeling an onion.

Mine is cracking. Of my heart. To let the light in.

The first real crack last week was wonderful. No pain in the least. It was beautiful and my heart swelled with an omnipresent glow + admiration for the possibility of love. And it kept at it through several layers of my own edge.IMG_4694

Our good friend, The Carny, sent us a gift on a silly FB dare. The first ray of light + big belly laugh was the package label. “Cupcake Drum”. A big Scandinavian man who is funny, always, giggling, + generous as they come referred to his tough buddy as “Cupcake”. I love it!

Then the gifts were a ray of light. Swear word coloring books. Priceless. I laughed so hard Cupcake got swear word coloring as therapy. Perfect. And a book for me. Because I swear + color + dared. Maybe I’m a cupcake too.

Really, the gift was the note inside. More powerful, far reaching, and valuable than The Carny could’ve known. “Love you long time.”

Love you long time. Love. You. Long. Time.

Sit with that for a minute.

I welled up with tears + my heart swelled for humanity. Here was this man of man telling his friends he loved them. Not some garbled mumbled half-drunk shoulder punch declaration of brotherhood. “Love you long time.” Love. Gratitude. Permission to give + receive. Connection + love we all crave. Need.

I thought about that note all week. I had great convo with electric women about raising vibrations, offerings to the world, community, personal growth, + how we all desire to be loved. We are passionate about life + our work + learning to be graceful with ourselves. With each of them I felt “Love you long time”. It. Just. Was. Beautiful.

The next big crack was probably an 8.2 on the Richter Scale. Holy Crap. Seatbelt required. Really all I needed was a mirror. I need to love myself. I need to say “Love you long time” to me. Tears. Fissures. Light. Damn it. I know this. “Love you long time”….”Love you long time”…”Love you long time”.

IMG_4838This isn’t peeling any damn onion. This is hard. Resistance can be a bit of a trickster to identify. Motivation to change is just wanting. Dedication to change is brave.

What’s possible if I acknowledge + allow myself the same love I felt from a note in a package? Big crack. Big light. I am that for so many people. And deny myself. How interesting. “Love you long time”….”Love you long time”…”Love you long time”.

This week I’m on a mission (read: dedicated) to my intent-full intentional mantra: “Love. You. Long. Time.” Say it enough + you start to feel it. Try it on. It’s expansive. Delicious.

Watch for the signs (thank you to The Carny for the provocation) and have a mirror; someone to reflect back for you, call your bluff, point out the blind spot. They love you. Love yourself.

How are you shortchanging yourself on love?
Experiment with giving yourself the same love you freely give to others.

What’s possible for you if you looked at the world, your day, yourself through the eyes of an open heart?

Strike a chord with you? Know someone who would be interested? Please share with your friends.

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